Okay, finally got around to posting a "31 Days of Halloween" movie from Syfy!
Angry spirit wolf, evil oil company, rednecks—now there’s a winning combo for a Syfy Original Movie! The cast has good chemistry, the story actually sort of makes sense, and the villains die gratifyingly violent deaths. Monsterwolf is not a rollicking pile of looniness like Mega Piranha, but it’s still a good romp.
Plot Summary
During a secret, illegal drilling operation, an oil company called Holter Ex accidentally releases a vengeful Native American spirit wolf in Crowley, Louisiana. (Evil oil company in Louisiana? Gee, I wonder which major event inspired this movie?) The wolf goes after everybody associated with Holter Ex, and only the last living member of the Atakapa tribe can stop the wolf’s rampage.
Plot Summary
During a secret, illegal drilling operation, an oil company called Holter Ex accidentally releases a vengeful Native American spirit wolf in Crowley, Louisiana. (Evil oil company in Louisiana? Gee, I wonder which major event inspired this movie?) The wolf goes after everybody associated with Holter Ex, and only the last living member of the Atakapa tribe can stop the wolf’s rampage.
Nutrition Facts
Vitamin B-Acting: 40%
All of the B-acting comes from the villain, Holter Ex CEO Mr. Stark (played by Robert Picardo, who was the doctor on “Star Trek: Voyager”). Picardo lays on the ham, which suits his role as the uberheartless CEO perfectly. Buy up neighborhood land? Done! Blow up the Native American artifacts so he can continue drilling unhindered? You bet! Shoot the Choctaw chief to stop a lawsuit against Holter Ex? Naturally!
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| The one thing that terrifies Stark--the MEDIA! |
The other actors do their job, and not much more. Jason London has a major role as Yale, the female lead’s romantic interest—I note this only because his brother Jeremy has appeared in many fine, fine Syfy movies. More Londons can only mean good things for Syfy Original Movie fans.
Vitamin B-SFX: 30%
The wolf is a fairly competent SFX by Syfy standards, but it’s still clearly fake, and the huge teeth will provoke some giggles.
Unusually, the movie contains animated sequences. This occurs while Chief Turner of the Choctaws relates the sad tale of Kachinawea, aka “Monsterwolf.” (The captions had trouble settling upon the right spelling—KAchinawea? KUchinawea?) The animation, while far below Disney or Pixar’s level, was decent for the kind of movie it appeared in.
Vitamin B-SFX: 30%
The wolf is a fairly competent SFX by Syfy standards, but it’s still clearly fake, and the huge teeth will provoke some giggles.
Unusually, the movie contains animated sequences. This occurs while Chief Turner of the Choctaws relates the sad tale of Kachinawea, aka “Monsterwolf.” (The captions had trouble settling upon the right spelling—KAchinawea? KUchinawea?) The animation, while far below Disney or Pixar’s level, was decent for the kind of movie it appeared in.
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| Tremble, Tony Hayward! |
Vitamin Fun: 80%
The story rolls along well, the acting is decent and hammy in all the right places. For a bonus, Yale and Maria (the female lead) are accompanied by Yale’s perpetually high/drunk redneck best friend, Chase. Frankly, Chase has no real reason to be in the story at all, except to offer his special brand of high/drunk advice.
Oh, have I mentioned the squad of crack assassins that Stark hires to kill Chief Turner and Kachinawea? The squad’s leader is a man who’s like a cross between Samuel L. Jackson and Ving Rhames from “Con Air.” The leader dies a spectacularly fiery death by Kachinawea’s paw, of course.
Sugar: 30%
There are two parts to the sugar in this movie. First, Maria herself. She left her tiny town to go to law school in New York. She starts the movie working for Stark, but then rediscovers her soul mate in Yale and realizes how far she was straying from the path of happiness and inner fulfillment.
Secondly, Maria’s mother died in a car accident when she was 16…and Maria was driving the car. The accident happened because Maria’s mother had revealed that…MARIA WAS ADOPTED! Are you crying yet? (Guess who turns out to be the last living Atakapa, and the only person who can stop Kachinawea?)
Plot Fiber: 75%
Surprisingly strong logic by Syfy movie standards. Kachinawea’s backstory makes sense in the context of the long history of troubled Native American-whites relationships. Otherwise, the plot follows Jaws pretty closely: monster pops up, people don’t believe it at first, and then the bodies pile up and they believe.
Of course, not every moment in the movie makes sense—there’s a few times when Kachinawea goes after people who shouldn’t be on his hit list. But hey, the more carnage in a Syfy movie, the better, right? Compared with the gaping plot holes I’ve witnessed in other Syfy movies, I’m inclined to forgive the relatively small plot holes in Monsterwolf.
Supplements
Pseudoscience Pill: N/A
Political Pill: 100%
Big oil? Check.
Native Americans vs. greedy white capitalists? Check.
The story rolls along well, the acting is decent and hammy in all the right places. For a bonus, Yale and Maria (the female lead) are accompanied by Yale’s perpetually high/drunk redneck best friend, Chase. Frankly, Chase has no real reason to be in the story at all, except to offer his special brand of high/drunk advice.
Oh, have I mentioned the squad of crack assassins that Stark hires to kill Chief Turner and Kachinawea? The squad’s leader is a man who’s like a cross between Samuel L. Jackson and Ving Rhames from “Con Air.” The leader dies a spectacularly fiery death by Kachinawea’s paw, of course.
Sugar: 30%
There are two parts to the sugar in this movie. First, Maria herself. She left her tiny town to go to law school in New York. She starts the movie working for Stark, but then rediscovers her soul mate in Yale and realizes how far she was straying from the path of happiness and inner fulfillment.
Secondly, Maria’s mother died in a car accident when she was 16…and Maria was driving the car. The accident happened because Maria’s mother had revealed that…MARIA WAS ADOPTED! Are you crying yet? (Guess who turns out to be the last living Atakapa, and the only person who can stop Kachinawea?)
Plot Fiber: 75%
Surprisingly strong logic by Syfy movie standards. Kachinawea’s backstory makes sense in the context of the long history of troubled Native American-whites relationships. Otherwise, the plot follows Jaws pretty closely: monster pops up, people don’t believe it at first, and then the bodies pile up and they believe.
Of course, not every moment in the movie makes sense—there’s a few times when Kachinawea goes after people who shouldn’t be on his hit list. But hey, the more carnage in a Syfy movie, the better, right? Compared with the gaping plot holes I’ve witnessed in other Syfy movies, I’m inclined to forgive the relatively small plot holes in Monsterwolf.
Supplements
Pseudoscience Pill: N/A
Political Pill: 100%
Big oil? Check.
Native Americans vs. greedy white capitalists? Check.
However, the way the movie is written, these political undercurrents are quite gratifying. Kachinawea inflicts bloody vengeance upon Big Oil, and also gets a good dig into evil white men on the Choctaws’ behalf. You’re more likely to enjoy this Political Pill rather than choke on it.
Likelihood of choking: 10%
Likelihood of choking: 10%
is the information about the movie here copyrighted?
ReplyDeleteand thanks a lot for the preview
ReplyDeleteHi Esteneo,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to Vitamin B-Movie! Yes, my writing is copyrighted, but the basic info about things like the cast and production values are widely available online.
Laura
Hey Laura, thanks for answering, so the Plot Summary is yours? you wrote it after watching the movie?
ReplyDeleteYea, the plot summaries are mine--I write them after watching each movie.
ReplyDeleteLaura
then I'm glad I found your Blog! You're doing a great job here. I wish you Good Luck!
ReplyDelete