Wraiths of Roanoke

(Also known as "The Lost Colony," but "Wraiths" is a WAY better title.) 

The Syfy Original Movies tend to come in bunches—for instance, for a while a lot of new natural disaster movies were appearing, then a whole bunch of movies based on myths and legends. “Wraiths of Roanoke” emerged during Syfy’s ghost phase.

Normally the paranormal Syfy movies are not my favorites, but this one gets a special exception. The story is based on the Lost Colony, one of the great “mysteries” of history. (As far as I’m concerned, however, it’s not really a mystery what happened to them, but more on that later.) Knowing the backstory will come in handy as you read the review, so here’s a brief summary: the “Lost Colony” refers to a group of English colonists who attempted to start a colony in 1585 on Roanoke Island, part of North Carolina’s Outer Banks. (FYI, they thought they were in Virginia, so their leader named his baby daughter “Virginia.”) The colonists immediately had problems with starvation and disease, and a small deputation returned to England for more supplies. When the deputation returned three years later, the colonists were gone, with only a single word carved into a tree as a clue: “Croatoan.” The local natives were Croatoans, so presumably they were involved with the colonists’ disappearance.

Anyway, “Wraiths” is one of my Syfy pets because my family used to take vacations in the Outer Banks every summer. As a result, I’m very familiar with Bodie and Roanoke Island. Naturally I saw this movie so I could see just much liberty they took with the story. I was not disappointed.

Plot Summary

Ananias Dare arrives at Roanoke Island with a group of colonists. But an unruly gang of ghosts starts hunting the colonists. Ananias and the local Croatoan leader, Manteo, have to find a way to stop the ghosts and save their people. (It goes without saying that there’s native-vs-colonist trouble in between ghost appearances.)

Nutrition Facts:

Vitamin B-Acting: 60%

Nobody really brings on the ham in this movie, but there is plenty of lackluster acting. Ananias does a lot of frowning and shouting orders. 

Ananias also spends a lot of time staring.

 Manteo uses variations of the same expression throughout the movie. His acting style depends heavily on the ancient "Wise Indian" Hollywood stereotype. No matter what emotion the character might be feeling, his/her expression will always have the same basic grim set. For example, here we have "Grief-Stricken Yet Philosophical Wise Indian":

Here we have "Angry Wise Indian":

Eleanor, Ananias’ wife and the mother of Virginia Dare, displays a similar range of emotions in her own acting. I’d also like to add that she does not resemble a 1500s colonist so much as she resembles the anorexic models you see on the covers of smutty fantasy novels. 

Not bad for a starving, diseased colonist, eh?

As for baby Virginia, apparently she was the size of a 6-8 month old from the moment she was born. Eleanor must have had pretty roomy hips.

Vitamin B-SFX: 70%

Now we get to the really fun stuff—the Viking ghosts! They consist of skeletons wearing ragged robes. A couple of the ghosts wear those horned Viking helmets and wave spears around. Most of the time the ghosts kill by touching a colonist and instantly turning him into a desiccated corpse. During one attack, a ghost spits out what looks like a stream of phantom bees at an unfortunate colonist.

The best thing about the ghosts, though, is how their sounds are captioned. (I’m hearing-impaired and watch all of my movies and TV with captions. You’d be surprised how often captioning “enhances” a Syfy flick.) Every sound they make is “ominous.” They howl ominously, they scream ominously, they even whisper ominously! 

"Ya got the mead? All right, time to party ominously, dude!"

 Vitamin Fun: 40%

Despite the presence of Viking ghosts, this movie is pretty dull. It was fun for me, personally, because I know the land and history well and I had a great time figuring out where the movie took artistic license with the story. This is the sort of movie better endured with fellow hecklers (or a strong drink).

Sugar: 10%

Aww…Eleanor and Ananias give their lives to try to save Virginia…and when they die, Manteo (who’s made up with Ananias by then) takes Virginia to raise as his own. Nonetheless, chances are you won’t be reaching for the Kleenex, because the “sad” stuff happens at the end. By then, you just won’t care who lives or dies.

Plot Fiber: 0%

Let’s analyze the whole “Viking ghost” thing in more detail, shall we?

Ananias is the one who figures out that the colonists are being hunted by “wraiths,” a special kind of spirit from Norse legend that sucks men’s souls. How does Ananias know this? Apparently while he sailed around Scandinavia during his trading trips, he became an amateur scholar of Norse legend and history. Keep in mind this is during the latter half of the 1500s. 

"Believe me, Manteo, runes are a total babe magnet."

It gets better. At one point he and Manteo sneak into a cave that holds the secret to the ghosts’ origin. One wall is covered in Norse runes, and of course Ananias can READ the runes. I think the real Ananias Dare would have been a lot more concerned with surviving sea journeys back then and less so with learning runes.

Here’s what the runes say about the ghosts:

A long time ago, a Viking ship went off course and landed in North Carolina. (That must have been quite a change of climate for those guys.) The Viking explorers then killed a witch and two of her followers, whom they blamed for their problems. Somehow this caused Roanoke to become overrun with ghosts—why there’s more than three ghosts is never fully explained.

From this information, Ananias decides that the only way to get rid of the ghosts is to help them cross to Valhalla. Since the Vikings sent off their dead on burning ships, they have to do the same for the ghosts. Apparently baby Virginia’s purity attracts the ghosts, so they use her as bait to lure them onto a burning raft. All the surviving colonists die during this process.

Yes, that’s how Syfy explains the “Lost Colony” mystery. They all got killed by a bunch of Viking ghosts, except for Virginia.

It is complete bunk, despite the movie’s claim that it’s a recreation of “actual events.” Most likely the “Lost Colony” either died of starvation and disease or were killed by natives, or they got tired of waiting to die and joined the natives to survive. (There were later reports of blue-eyed Indians in the area.) To see why the “joining the natives” theory is likely, take a look at a movie called “The New World” with Colin Farrell. It does a good job of depicting the contrast between the Jamestown colonists’ horrific living situation with the natives’ relative prosperity. Why wouldn’t the Roanoke colonists prefer to adopt the tried-and-proven methods of the people who actually knew the land and climate?

Speaking of the land, wherever “Wraiths” was filmed, it sure as heck wasn’t in the Outer Banks. There are mountains, MOUNTAINS visible in the background in many scenes. The Outer Banks have dunes, beaches, some swampy areas, some thinly forested areas, but MOUNTAINS? No.

Supplements:

Pseudoscience Pill: N/A

Political Pill:

 

For years, there was a sign next to the main highway in the Outer Banks saying that Virginia Dare had been the first child born in the New World. The Indian babies didn’t count, of course. Eventually the state changed this sign to “first English child born in the New World.” (Grudgingly, though.) 

"Okay, okay, we changed the sign already!"

At the end of “Wraiths,” we see a caption saying, “Virginia Dare was the first child born in the New World.”

LONG LIVE POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS!!!

Likelihood of choking: 80%

And if you ever visit Roanoke Island, don't forget to check out the "Lost Colony Outdoor Drama"!