March 17, 2011

Leprechaun 3


This is the lamest movie in the entire Leprechaun series. The most terrifying things in the film are the hair and clothing, and we get not one, but TWO leprechauns spewing verses for 90 minutes.

Plot Summary

The Leprechaun (Warwick Davis) winds up in Vegas.
Through the typical it’s-in-the-script contrivances, a college boy, Scott (John Gatins) comes into the possession of Leprechaun’s golden shilling. Scott wins a fortune at the casinos thanks to the shilling, but Leprechaun wants it back. During a fight, Scott accidentally absorbs some of Leprechaun’s blood, and starts transforming into a Leprechaun. Can Scott and the buxom Tammy (Lee Armstrong) stop Leprechaun’s magic before Scott completes his transformation and is sentenced to a lifetime of hitting on women with dirty poetry?

Nutrition Facts

Vitamin B-Acting: 70%

The bad acting is more painful to watch and less fun in this installment, particularly by John Gatins. Actually, I had to feel sorry for the guy, considering he had to subject himself to repeating limericks like: 

There once was a lady of Totten
Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten.
She cared not for steaks
Or for pastries and cakes
But lived upon penis au gratin.


(Survival Tip: Keeping track of all the famous old dirty limericks that appear will make the movie more bearable—and it makes a natural drinking game!)

Lee Armstrong and the other actors don’t shirk on their bad acting, either. The Great Fazio, a hack magician played by John DeMita, and Loretta (Caroline Williams) are the best worst actors in this film. DeMita has no talent whatsoever, and Williams clearly was just having fun playing up her trashy character. 

Not as trashy as leopard print, but close, very close.

Vitamin B-SFX: 60%

The SFX looks cheap, and seems outdated even by 1995 standards, when this movie was released. The exploding fat suit is incredibly fake-looking. The killer sex robot is weirdly disappointing—that was the best Leprechaun could cook up? A relatively basic robot with a set of fake boobs taped to its chest?

At least we see some of the real things...

Vitamin Fun: 40%

The incessant rhyming got on my nerves, so down the rating goes. If it wasn't obvious by now, I hated this movie. I will give the writers their due—Vegas is a perfect setting for Leprechaun, and they certainly milked the setting for all it was worth.

Sugar: 0%

Why am I even bothering with this category for the Leprechaun series?

Plot Fiber: 20%

As usual, there are many, many problems with the script. However, I think it’s a better use of my time to conserve my Plot Fiber processing for Leprechaun 4 and 5. Those will be real challenges. Now I’m off to finish watching the first season of Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex!

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