March 6, 2011

Leprechaun 2

St. Paddy’s is coming up, and what better way to celebrate than with the Leprechaun series?

You may notice that I’ve skipped the original movie and gone straight to #2. The captioning got messed up on my Leprechaun copy, so my tribute to Jennifer Aniston’s original nose will have to wait. But the rest of the movies offer plenty to rip apart.

Plot Summary

Leprechaun (Warwick Davis) hasn’t had any in 1,000 years. (Really? There aren’t any fairy hookers in Ireland?) So when he hits his 1,000th birthday, he’s looking forward to claiming a lovely lass as his bride. The lass’ father, William O’Day, foils Leprechaun, and Leprechaun curses the family. On his 2,000th birthday, Leprechaun will claim O’Day’s descendant as his bride.

Fast forward to present-day LA, where the lovely Bridget (Shevonne Durkin) resides. Leprechaun drools over her assets and snatches her. Can Bridget’s would-be boyfriend, Cody (Charlie Heath), and his uncle (Sandy Baron) save her from the randy green critter?

Nutrition Facts

Vitamin B-Acting: 90%

This is not a series known for restrained acting.

It’s a tough call whether Sandy Baron, as drunky Uncle Morty, or Warwick Davis serves up more ham. The best scenes occur when the two of them are in the same room and feed off each other’s hamminess. 

Morty gains the advantage over Leprechaun in an argument about Irish vs. American whiskey.

Charlie Heath and Shevonne Durkin make a game attempt at ham, but they never had a chance against Baron and Davis.

One warning: if you hate grating voices, Leprechaun will drive you bonkers. (That settles it—I’m keeping Guinness close at hand while watching the other movies.)

Vitamin B-SFX: 30%

Nothing particularly cheesy, pretty standard SFX.

There is some gore—such as pulling out a gold tooth and biting someone’s finger off—but the goriest scene occurs largely off camera. Guys, be careful nuzzling into a woman’s chest. You never know when those lovely boobs might be disguised as a pair of spinning blades.

(I confess I’m a bit biased rating this installment’s special effects—I’m all too aware of what’s coming in Leprechaun 4…)

Vitamin Fun: 70%

Sandy Baron and the randy leprechaun plotline go a long way to making this movie bearable for those with a sense of humor.

I also enjoyed the “Darkside Tours” bit (Darkside is a schlocky tour of LA “death houses” run by Morty). The writers clearly enjoyed poking fun at LA’s tourist traps. Darkside Tours reminded me very much of Chicago’s “Untouchable Tours,” which consists of a black school bus taking tourists to the locations of notorious mobster hangouts and horrific crimes. Naturally, most of these places were destroyed long ago, so the tour guides have to resort to the same hokey showmanship that Cody and Morty display in the movie.

Sugar: 0%

Somehow, I really can’t pity Leprechaun for his inability to get laid. 

I feel your pain, Bridget...

Plot Fiber: 20%

My recollection of this series is that the writers change the leprechaun mythology at will to best accommodate whatever plot twists they desire. In the first movie, the plot made a big deal out of four-leaf clovers, which have the same effects on leprechauns as kryptonite did on Superman. In Leprechaun 2, four-leaf clovers are forgotten in favor of wrought iron, presumably because wrought iron offers more fun possibilities for killer weapons than wimpy four-leaf clovers.

For someone who is supposed to be so wily, the Leprechaun is a huge idiot. At the movie’s beginning, he right out tells William O’Day how to save his daughter from being claimed as Leprechaun’s bride. The ring Leprechaun binds around Bridget’s neck is impenetrable…until she picks one freaking rod out of the ring, which makes the whole thing fall apart. Sloppy, Leprechaun, very sloppy. Tsk tsk. 

Though he does have a cool kart.

And seriously, are there no fairy hookers in Ireland?

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